Children Are Not Pawns

Children should never be used as tools for manipulation, revenge, or control. Yet, it happens far too often — in relationships, co-parenting, and even within families. When adults allow their egos, pain, or pride to take center stage, the ones who suffer most are the children caught in the middle.

Using a child to prove a point, gain sympathy, or hide wrongdoing may seem small in the moment, but it plants seeds of confusion and emotional instability that can grow for years. Children begin to question love, loyalty, and truth — things that should feel safe and consistent.

Even witnessing adult dishonesty or disrespect leaves a lasting impression on a child’s heart. It teaches them confusion where they should have felt safety. When kids are exposed to situations that force them to navigate adult issues, they lose a piece of their innocence — and that can shape how they see relationships forever.

When parents or caregivers use children as pawns, they unknowingly teach them that relationships are about power, not partnership. They learn to read emotional chaos instead of feeling peace. They start to carry burdens that were never meant for their little shoulders.

It’s time for adults to take accountability. If you are hurt, heal. If you are angry, pause. But do not let those emotions spill onto your children. They should never have to manage your pain or be used to get even with someone else.

Children deserve stability, honesty, and emotional safety — not games, lies, or manipulation. They are not extensions of our battles. They are souls entrusted to our care.

Let them be loved freely. Let them grow without confusion. Let them know that love doesn’t come with conditions.